The Heart of the Matter
December 26, 2009
One More Difference Between Men and Women

Since the beginning of time, pundits, psychologists, and philosophers have been waxing poetic about the differences between men and women.

Many well-researched theories and observations have been postulated -- everything from variations of XY chromosomes to moon cycles to shopping habits.

Though I am not a pundit, psychologist, or philosopher, I would like to take this moment to propose yet another difference between the sexes -- something I've been noticing for years, but never completely understood until this morning's opening of Christmas presents:

1. Men and women wrap presents completely differently.

Presents wrapped by women look really good. The edges are square. The tape is in all the right places. There are no unnecessary wrinkles, crunched up paper, or rips. The presents women wrap could easily be photographed for a catalog or Good Housekeeping centerfold.

Presents wrapped by men are usually a joke. Asymmetrical. Random. Pitifully sophomoric. Like an old pair of sweat pants stuffed into a drawer a little too quickly before the dinner guests arrive.

2. Men and women open presents completely differently.

Women look for the seams and the tape and use their tapered fingers in mysteriously delicate ways so the wrapping can be flawlessly removed, flattened, folded, and used again in the future.

Men are huns. They rip. They tear. They plunder the paper as if it was a small village needing to be taken over immediately.

The remains of the wrapping, no matter how beautifully conceived by the giver, ends up in a balled-up heap of chaos on the floor -- unusable for anything but kindling or throwing at other males across the room.

NEXT WEEK: Nail care

Open this present

Posted by Mitch Ditkoff at December 26, 2009 03:18 PM

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