For the past three years, I've been facilitating Wisdom Circles in the US, Mexico, and Australia. They have been an absolute delight -- wonderful gatherings of open-minded people who intuitively understand the power and glory of storytelling. And yet, during that time, I've noticed a curious phenomenon: Even though the word "story" is well-known to everyone, not everyone understands how to tell a story with impact.
]]>NOTE: The following eulogy I read at my mother's funeral 18 years ago. Ten minutes ago I rediscovered it, quite by accident. I offer it to you now in honor of all our mothers.
What can I say about my mother -- the one I called "mom" and "mommy" and "ma" and "Sylvie" -- the one through whom I was born, who fed me with her own blood before I entered the world?
There is something about the mother/son relationship that can never be explained -- a relationship that is way more about feeling than thinking -- and I thank my mother for awakening feeling in me, even when she was unaware of it in her self.
I have very good memories of my mother -- the woman you came here to honor today -- not so much for the things she did, but for the being she was, an advocate for love, appreciation, and simplicity.
]]>I remember, as a small child, playing a game called "Connect the Dots."
In front of me was an activities book composed of sheets of paper with nothing on them but numbered dots. My task was a simple one -- to draw lines between the dots, connecting each dot sequentially. #1 would get connected to #2. #2 would get connected to #3 and so on until each of the dots were connected, resulting in the creation of some kind of picture -- a hat, a house, a boat, or whatever the book publisher had in mind.
]]>This gave me pause and one more opportunity to reflect -- specifically on what, if anything of value, did I have to say about this great tragedy and from what persona of mine would I speak?
As a member of this temple? A Jew? An American? A man? A father? A poet? A Democrat? A peace advocate? A lifelong seeker of truth?
There are so many ways to look at things, so many points of view, so many sides of the story.
At first blush, like all of you here tonight, my heart goes out to the hostages and their families. I can only imagine if it were my children who had been taken hostage... or my friends... or my parents. I have no words to describe the feelings I would be having, never having lived through this nightmare myself.
Nor do I have words to describe the feelings of the hostage-takers and what drove them to such an action in the first place.
Here's what I know: thoughts and prayers are not enough to heal the pain that the people of Israel and Palestine are experiencing. Nor is political posturing, protest marches and whatever cease fire or truce is eventually agreed on -- especially since we all know that whatever cease fire or truce is agreed on will only be temporary and that the deep-seated hatred and antagonism that both sides have for each other -- along with their own "proof" for why their stance is well-founded -- is likely to continue.
Here's what else I know:
We were not born to hurt, fight and kill each other. We were born to experience love, kindness, compassion, consciousness and true humanity.
Demonizing the so-called "other" is easy to do. It has become a sport on planet earth -- which, as far as I can tell, is a planet of duality, one of the great challenges facing all of us -- the apparent dance of opposites:
Up and down... in and out... black and white... good and bad... East and West... North and South... hot and cold... male and female... light and dark... now and later... hard and soft... you and me... us and them... Israel and Palestine.
This duality, deeply embedded into the DNA of every single person that walks this earth very much affects our perceptions of life. "Otherness" rules us in just about every aspect of our lives. And this otherness blinds us to our common humanity in such a vile way that it makes it insanely difficult to experience each other as brothers and sisters... or children of the same God.
We have all been taken hostage by this mindset of otherness. We have all been kidnapped by an invisible force that makes it extremely difficult to come from a place of love instead of hate, compassion instead of destruction, kindness instead of killing.
Personally speaking, I have seen and felt a lot in my 76 years.
I almost died at 21, just three seconds away from drowning. Three years later, when I was 24, I met a great being and experienced my timelesss, true nature beyond the circumstances of my life. I saw an angel when I was 27 -- not in my imagination, but in my room. I worked in an Islamic school for a year -- the only Jew among 1,000 Muslims. I have walked the halls of power in corporate America, for 35 years, invited by that curious slice of humanity to open their minds to new possibilities. I have brought two children into this world, written seven books, and watched Fiddler on the Roof six times.
Speaking of which, there is a scene in that movie that has always stayed with me -- one that has relevance to the world we now find ourselves living in. Perhaps you remember the scene.
Tevye, the town milkman and also the town wise man was walking through the town square when he encounters two villagers arguing loudly about a transaction they recently had. Apparently, one of the men sold a horse to the other, but the other man is now insisting it was not a horse, at all, but a mule. When they see Tevye, each of them turns to him and vehemently makes their case.
After the first man tells his side of the story, Tevye strokes his beard and says "You're right!"
Then the second man, with an entirely different story of the transaction, makes his case to Tevye.
Tevye listens, strokes his beard and says. "You're right!"
A third villager, standing close by, who had been watching the argument play out for the past ten minutes then turns to Tevye and says, "Wait a minute, how can he be right (pointing to the first man) AND he be right (pointing to the second man)?"
Tevye listens, strokes his beard, and exclaims "YOU'RE RIGHT!" Then he starts dancing, embodying in that highly-charged moment, something far beyond right and wrong.
This story may sound cute to you or not at all applicable to the awful situation in the Middle East. But it is neither cute or naive. There is a lot of truth in it.
Until and unless, we -- as a species -- get to a place beyond our cultural perceptions of right and wrong -- we will always be fighting, always killing, always taking others hostage and more fundamentally, taking ourselves hostage.
What I am talking about has nothing to do with the laws of mankind. It has to do with the laws of life and the almighty -- that which not everyone agrees on, selectively quoting from their favorite scripture or interpretation of their favorite scripture to support their own point of view.
What can YOU do in regard to the hostage situation in Israel? What can you do in regard to the horror show going on in the Middle East these days -- and let us not forget the war between Russian and Ukraine.
That is for you to decide.
You can send thought and prayers. You can send money. You can send ambassadors. You can protest. You can write letters. You can come to services like the one here tonight. And all of these approaches, of course, have their place and time.
But ultimately, all of us -- you and me and everyone else who is not in this room tonight -- will need to find our own way back to peace -- the promised land that is not a physical place, but a state of being, a state of consciousness -- one whose natural attributes are love, kindness, empathy, compassion, selflessness, and the recognition that all people, regardless of their apparent differences, skin color, religion, language, politics, education, or perceptions are children of the same God -- all here to experience true love and forgiveness.
For now, before I take my leave, I invite you to close your eyes, take a long slow breath, and get in touch with one step you can take, one move you can make, to bring more love, kindness and understanding into this world -- starting tonight, in this room right now, in your home when you return there, and tomorrow in your community or wherever you can reach out to someone with love in your heart and the timeless recognition that we are all in this together.
Shalom! As-salamu alaikum to you all!
MitchDitkoff.com
Unspoken Word
My peace poetry Facebook group
When I was 13, my sister was 18. She was the proverbial big sister. I was the proverbial little brother. And though she called me "twerp" and I called her "fatso", it was always comforting to know she was in the next room, especially on the nights when our parents went out. I wouldn't be alone. My sister was there.
But when she went off to college, everything changed. Now I was the only child in the house. Now it was just me.
I will never forget my first night alone. My parents, after dinner, casually informed me they were going out for the evening but would be back at a "reasonable hour." They petted the dog, gave me a hug, and were gone in a flash. I stood by the front door, listening, until the sound of their Oldsmobile disappeared into the distance. Then I made myself a huge bowl of ice cream, retreated to my room, turned on the TV, flopped down on my bed, and started doing my homework.
]]>Mention the word "storytelling" to most people and they will immediately think fairy tale, CNN spin doctor, or teenager explaining why they haven't done their homework. Good for entertainment and distraction, perhaps, but not much more. Guess what? Not true. Storytelling is the most powerful communication tool the human race has ever conceived. Why? Because it delivers the goods in at least nine different ways:
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"I LOVE the painting! It is so lifelike and I truly feel Sparky's presence in the house. It's truly remarkable. I'm so very grateful to Evelyne for creating such a timeless treasure. The painting will be displayed prominently in my living room for all to see. He's watching over me still. So much gratitude to you!" -- Suzanne Leon
Evelyne is an extraordinarily talented artist (oil pastels, oils, and digital paintings) who also does commission work. The process of engaging her services is simple. All you need to do is email her a jpg of a photo you want her to work from. Depending on the composition of the photo, size, and medium you want (oil pastel or oil painting), she will quote you an exact fee.
Her email address: evelynepouget2@gmail.com
See below for more examples of Evelyne's pet portraits:
"The oil pastel work Evelyne created of my dog, Kaya. is one of my most prized possessions! She truly captured Kaya's essence -- her sweetness, bright spirit, and loving nature. This beautiful piece is something I will always cherish." -- Sarah Jacob
Evelyne also specializes in people portraits
And horse portraits
CONTACT: evelynepouget2@gmail.com
]]>There is an expression in poker called "going all in" which I've always loved. It refers to the moment when a poker player pushes all of his chips into the middle of the table, letting everyone know that he is betting everything, holding back nothing. Either his hand is so good, he knows he can't lose or he's trying to bluff everyone out of the game.
Several years ago, I had one of those moments -- not in a poker game, but in my kitchen. At the time, I was living in one of Prem Rawat's ashrams. Our lease was up and we had a only a week to move before the landlord threw us out.
]]>All eight billion people on planet Earth are composed of the same six elements: hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorous. And all eight billion people, no matter where they were born or what language they speak, are composed of 75% water, 23 pairs of chromosomes, and approximately 37.2 trillion cells.
]]>"Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old." - Franz Kafka
"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age." - Sophia Loren
"My face carries all my memories. Why would I erase them?" - Diane Von Furstenberg
"If you are pining for youth I think it produces a stereotypical old man because you only live in memory, you live in a place that doesn't exist. Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been." - David Bowie
]]>Here's something I just heard about that I thought you might find both inspiring and timely, especially if you are looking for a new way to express your love to someone special in your life.
A good friend of mine -- Stuart Hoffman -- a masterful composer, pianist and producer of love songs -- has just launched SongScape, a brilliant, new custom-songwriting service.
The service Stuart provides is wonderful: you tell him what kind of song you're looking for (see below for details) and he will write, arrange, and produce the perfect song for you.
The twist? He is jump starting his new custom songwriting service with a raffle. For just a $25 entry fee, you can win a deeply moving, custom song that would typically cost at least $850.
Two examples of Stuart's Love Songs
A Thousand Days With You
One More Day
More examples of Stuart's music
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU WIN THE RAFFLE
Stuart will send you a simple form to complete that will provide him with the info he needs to write and produce your custom song, i.e.
-- The name of the song recipient
-- The occasion for the song, (i.e. engagement, wedding, birthday, anniversary, holiday, apology, expression of gratitude, sympathy)
-- Special moments you want noted in the song
-- Meaningful images, metaphors, memories, and details
-- The feeling or response you want the song receiver to experience
-- Your preferred musical genre or mood
2. Stuart will contact you to continue the intake process -- a way to ensure that the song he creates for you meets all of your specifications
3. Stuart and his team will write the lyrics. Stuart will write the music.
4. Stuart and his team will mix and master the song.
5. Stuart will digitally deliver the song to you in your desired format.
MORE ABOUT THE RAFFLE
-- Opens: Thursday, July 6
-- Closes: Thursday, July 20
-- Entry Fee: $25
-- Payable to piano88@sbcglobal.net via Venmo or PayPal. (Be sure to include your email address in the note).
-- Receipt of payment is your official entry into the raffle
-- Winner will be chosen via a random drawing on July 20
-- Winner will be announced/informed on July 21
WHAT STUART CAN PRODUCE for an NGO or ORGANIZATION
HOW TO ENTER THE RAFFLE
-- Buy a ticket by sending $25 to piano88@sbcglobal.net (via Venmo or PayPal). Deadline is July 20.
QUESTIONS? totalembrace88@gmail.com
]]>One morning, 28 years ago, I found myself standing in my closet, madly searching for clean clothes in a last minute attempt to pack before yet another business trip, when I noticed my 4-year old son, Jesse, standing in the entrance. In one hand he held a small plastic wand, in the other, a plastic bottle of soapy water.
"Dada," he said, looking up at me. "Do you have time to catch my bubbles?"
]]>Every spiritual tradition in the world has its own collection of rites and rituals that make up the warp and woof if it's particular path.
These rites and rituals, the origins of which are not always understood, give its practitioners something to do -- something not just think about or meditate on, but a physical activity they can focus on to help them remember the metaphysical connection to the essence of their path.
I get it. I do. Rituals work. Or as my rabbi liked to say, "If you want to learn to dance, sometimes you need to start with the box step."
My kids, for example, cannot celebrate Christmas without leaving milk and cookies out for Santa, even though its been years since they realized that the fat guy in the red suit didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of making it down our chimney.
]]>One of the outcomes, for me, from receiving the gift of Knowledge from Prem Rawat, in 1971, was the unexpected emergence of a deep desire to serve. The gift he had given me was so profound and so fulfilling that I soon began to experience a spontaneous upwelling of longing to "be of service" in some way.
This impulse to serve was unstoppable. I was not "paying my dues." I was not trying to "do good deeds." I was not being hustled by someone to be a source of volunteer labor. What was moving me went way beyond that. Never in my life had I experienced such a deep aspiration to be of service.
Something at the core of my being wanted to make my best effort to "lend a hand", even if my skills were minimal and my hands were shaking.
Wanting, actually, is the wrong word to describe what I was feeling at the time. It was way more than wanting. It was primal -- rising from an archetypal place within me that I didn't know existed -- kind of like what happens to the tides when the moon is full... and the wolves. I had no idea where this deep-seated longing to serve was originating from, but I trusted it and wanted to see where it would take me.
I am still in the process of exploring this.
More about what Prem is offering.
Photo: Courtesy of TimelessToday
Prem Rawat's Official YouTube Channel