July 15, 2008
Outsourcing Best Practices Revealed!

outsource world2.jpg

This just in!

In an extraordinary move, destined to be emulated by forward thinking business leaders around the world, I've just outsourced all my sleep to a guy named Namdev in New Delhi.

Yes, it's true. I no longer need to sleep. Namdev does it for me. It's astounding how much more productive I've been this week. And, as if my sleep breakthrough wasn't enough, I've also outsourced all my exercise to a guy named Sung Lee in Malaysia. God bless Sung Lee! He's been on the treadmill three hours today, as I understand it, and will be working on our delts and pecs tomorrow. Needless to say, I'm feeling exceptionally buff at this moment.

I was just about to have a big piece of cherry cheesecake to celebrate my innovative, time-saving enhancements, but I've...er... outsourced my eating to a woman named Min Yung in Taiwan. I'm down to about 145, but I'm feeling absolutely psyched about the new contract we just got from GE. Starts next month.

The only thing I haven't outsourced this week was this blog and a visit to my dentist. (Do any of you know someone willing to get a root canal on my behalf?)

(Image from images.businessweek.com)

Posted by Mitch Ditkoff at July 15, 2008 12:30 AM

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