February 08, 2012
Consultant Outsources Sleep!

Indian man sleeping in a tree.jpg

In an extraordinary move, destined to be emulated by forward thinking business leaders everywhere, I've just outsourced all my sleep to a guy named Namdev in New Delhi.

Yes, it's true. I no longer need to sleep. Namdev does it for me. It's astounding how much more productive I've been this week.

And, as if my sleep breakthrough wasn't enough, I've also outsourced all my exercise to a guy named Sung Lee in Malaysia. God bless Sung Lee! He's been on the Stairmaster three hours today and will be working on our delts and pecs tomorrow. Needless to say, I'm feeling totally buff at the moment.

Quick_Cherry_Cheesecake.jpg

I was just about to have a big piece of cherry cheesecake to celebrate my innovative, time-saving enhancements, but I've outsourced all my eating to a woman named Min Yung in Taiwan. I'm down to 145. Hallelujah! All my pants fit!

The only thing I didn't outsource this week was this blog posting and a visit to my dentist. (Do any of you know someone willing to get a root canal on my behalf?)

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Posted by Mitch Ditkoff at February 8, 2012 12:30 AM

Comments

Dear Mitch:

You are either a genious or totally insane. But make me laugh anyway.

Please, do not ever outsource your sense of humour!!!!

Posted by: JJPEREZK [TypeKey Profile Page] at April 7, 2010 09:47 AM

Agree! This cracked me up. You are unique and certainly innovative. I love to laugh. Please keep em coming.

Posted by: jharvey [TypeKey Profile Page] at April 9, 2010 09:45 PM

Well if you're a genius - and you are - then of course you're insane. Adore this post. The best one yet. (oh, and let us know when you outsource sex). Also love the yogi in the tree. Where did you get that pic?

Posted by: pcatpurrs [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 2, 2011 11:57 AM

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