May 04, 2017
The Gotta Have a Process Blues

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In 1999, I Co-Founded Face the Music (along with Paul Kwiecinski) -- an interactive business blues band that helps organizations get out of the box, improve communication, and build teams in a fun way.

One day, GE contacted us and asked if we would write and perform eight original blues songs that would poke fun at Six Sigma, as part of their upcoming Black Belt conference. We did. Here's one:


THE GOTTA HAVE A PROCESS BLUES

I woke up this morning,
Put both feet on the floor,
But I didn't have a process
To find the bathroom door,
So all I did was shuffle,
First the left foot, then the right,
Forgot to count the tiles
(Hey boss, I ain't too bright.)

We got green belts, black belts,
Corporate karate
And soon we'll need a process
For going to the potty.
Some charts and graphs would be real cool to help us choose
Just what to name this song 'bout the gotta have a process blues.

Back when we were kids
The only processed thing was cheese,
But now I need a process
Every single time I sneeze.
I say achoo, I blow my nose,
I try to get it right,
My green belt says my charts don't flow,
Not once a gesundheit.

I make no mistakes,
I do everything right,
To make sure nothing breaks
I stay up all night.
I'm a Six Sigma cowboy
With all my charts and graphs,
I measure every joke
And the way it makes me laugh.

We got green belts, black belts,
Corporate karate
And soon we'll need a process
For going to the potty.
A fishbone diagram would be cool to help us choose
Just what to name this song about the gotta have a process blues.

I barely make a boo boo, I rarely blow a deal,
You might call it voo doo, but that's just how I feel,
I'm one in a million
Though my defects number three,
I log on while I'm sleeping
And I've changed my name to "E."

We got green belts, black belts,
Corporate karate
And soon we'll need a process
For going to the potty.

- Blind Willy Nilly (that's me)
Six Sigma and breakthrough thinking
Face the Music on CNN

Posted by Mitch Ditkoff at May 4, 2017 07:21 AM

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