"Dada, Do You Have Time to Catch My Bubbles?"
One morning, 22 years ago, I found myself standing in my closet, madly searching for clean clothes in a last minute attempt to pack before yet another business trip, when I noticed my 4-year old son, Jesse, standing in the entrance. In one hand he held a small plastic wand, in the other, a plastic bottle of soapy water.
"Dada," he said, looking up at me. "Do you have time to catch my bubbles?"
Time? Whoa! It stopped. And so did I. At that moment, it made absolutely no difference whether or not I caught my plane; I could barely catch my breath. The only thing that was happening in that moment was my son and the soulful look of longing in his eyes.
For the next ten minutes, all we did was play -- him blowing bubbles, me catching. His need was completely satisfied -- his need for connection, his need for love, his need for knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that his dada was THERE for him and everything was perfect just the way it was.
Jesse is 26 now and just bought his own house. He works at YouTube. His bubbles are digital. But his deepest needs -- and mine -- are very much the same: love, connection, and enjoyment of the moment.
SO WHAT? This just in: In these difficult days of the Coronavirus, it is clear to me, more than ever, that it is the small moments that count -- the subtle opportunities we have every day to really BE there for each other. The business of life is not a life of business. There is something going on beyond cash flow, getting back to work, and government stimulus packages that is worthy of our attention.
Like love, for example. Like kindness. Like caring, fun, deep listening, and being totally present with the people in our lives -- especially those who live under the same roof we are working so hard to make sure remains over their head.
Somehow, along the way, we have forgotten that earning a living is not the same thing as LIVING -- that the people counting on us for survival are more interested in our interest in them than they are the compounded interest we are trying to earn for them.
This is tricky business, especially at a time in our lives when it takes a whole lot more effort than ever to pay the bills.
On that memorable day in my closet, if you asked me what I was doing the moment before Jesse asked me to catch his bubbles, I would have given you a stock answer -- something like, "getting ready for a road trip" or "packing." If you'd pressed me, I might have said something like "building a house of bricks" for my family.
Jesse didn't want to play with bricks that day. He wanted to play with BUBBLES. Bubbles were not a part of his long-term strategy. They were, instead, a crystal clear invitation for me to stop doing what I was doing and BE PRESENT with him in the moment -- the moment he was joyfully living in and I was planning for.
NOW WHAT? Who has been blowing bubbles your way recently? Have you acknowledged them? Given them your attention? Responded? If not, pause for a moment and ask yourself what you might do differently to catch their bubbles.
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MitchDitkoff.com
Posted by Mitch Ditkoff at August 17, 2020 05:13 PM
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