At least once a week, one of my friends or one of my clients complains about email -- how they get too much of it and how too much of what they get is spam. I feel their pain. I really do. Which is what inspired me to write this little blues song, first performed by Face the Music, back in 2000.

THE EMAIL BLUES

I logged on this morning
And found out I'd been spammed,
Got 500 emails, Lord, my inbox was way too jammed,
Most of it was useless, the rest of it was jokes
Sent by friends with downtime to the rest of us working folks.

Oh baby, I'm so digitally cool,
Oh baby, I'm gonna start my own gene pool,
Oh baby, I'm a nanosecond fool,
Gonna download half the universe,
Challenge Bill Gates to a duel.

I logged on this morning, heard that familiar digital buzz,
Had to double check my password to find out who I was,
Read the stock quotes in a minute, the box scores and the news,
But all I really learned was... I had those email blues.

Oh baby, I'm so digitally hip,
Oh baby, I'm a dot com chocolate chip,
Oh baby, my life is just a blip,
Gonna download half the universe,
Don't you give me no more lip.

I logged on this morning and found out I was dead,
At least that's what I think my new webmaster said,
I guess it kind of shocked me since I haven't seen the light,
But when I get to heaven I'll just launch my new website.

Oh baby, I'm so digitally fine,
Oh baby, I got fiber optic up my spine,
Oh baby, my life is so divine,
Gonna download half the universe,
Don't know where to draw the line.

Want to listen to the Email Blues? Now's the time.

What kind of blues do you get? Let us know and we'll choose the most compelling topic, write a blues song about it, and post the lyrics here within the next 30 days.

Posted by Mitch Ditkoff at 01:40 AM | Comments (0)

See that Neanderthal to your left? That's Og, the mythical inventor of the wheel and the hero of Mitch Ditkoff's new book which hits the book stores on May 1.

In honor of Og, I am inviting you to the book signing at the Golden Notebook in Woodstock, NY, Saturday, April 26th, 5:00 - 7:00 pm.

Here's what Og has to say about the book signing:

Morkel noophpa umphh! Kiaww noofti agu. Brrpp. Obama! Rok. Remu! Ditkoff sumphfta jabu.

Translation?

"Hey bipeds with Blackberries and cash flow problems! You don't even need to know how to read to enjoy a book signing! Free wine! Free cheese! The tribe reconvenes! And Mitch Ditkoff, who has recently developed full use of both opposable thumbs, will be signing books. Or eating crackers. Or talking too much.

Bring a friend. Bring two. Really, you don't have to buy a single book if you don't want to. Just come and be part of the fun.

And support the fabulous Golden Notebook!

If you want to listen to Mitch's two minute rap about the book, click here.

PS: If you can't make it to the book signing, so be it. You can still buy a copy here.

Posted by Mitch Ditkoff at 07:58 PM | Comments (0)