Happy for No Reason
When I was 21, I came within five seconds of drowning. As I was going down for the third time, I looked to the shore and realized that this, my last moment, was the most lucid moment of my life.
Everything else was a cartoon. Unreal. Fake. In the state I was in, only one thing was certain. I wanted to live. And in that moment, which felt like my last, something extraordinary took over -- way beyond my exhaustion -- and got me to the shore.
It swam me, until I -- completely out of breath -- could finally stand. And when I did, I fell to my knees and kissed the ground. I cried. I sang whatever children's songs I could remember. I laughed. In that moment of pure exaltation, I had no philosophy, no religion, no politics, no family, no friends, no future, no past. Only the simple joy of being alive.
When I think about my teacher, Prem Rawat, and the experience he has shown me, it feels much the same.
In such a simple and loving way, he has connected me not only to the will to live, but to the primal force that moves me. As my teacher, he has taught me how to be a student. And as his student, I have learned that it doesn't matter what I know, but who I am. Or more correctly, what I am.
It's what the poets pray to feel, so finally they'd have something worth writing about.
When I feel it -- and I do a lot -- I am happy for no reason at all. Happy like someone on permanent vacation. Completely alive. Grateful to the max. Content in a way that requires no action to prove itself whole.
Unconditional love it is. No strings attached. First kiss. Second chance. Unexpected snow day. Home for the holidays. More fun than I've ever had and absolutely nothing is happening. Just the peace that passes all understanding -- even when my hard disk crashes.
Who is the one who showed me what it's all about I cannot say.
All I know is this: When I'm with him, I never want to leave. And when I do, it's like starting over once again -- whatever I once was being left behind like a second skin. I am refreshed, renewed, re-awakened once again.
Posted by Mitch Ditkoff at February 21, 2009 09:28 PM
Bonjour from France Mitch and thank you for your blog
Have a nice day
Posted by: MarieLH at August 23, 2008 03:32 AM
hello as well
Posted by: avigael at February 23, 2009 02:26 PM
thank you mitch so mauch
it realy good
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