July 02, 2009
The Single Sock Theory

Dear Movers and Shakers:

We now interrupt this blog with an official announcement of the first annual WHAT HAPPENS TO THE SINGLE SOCKS? contest.

While we all have our differences, there is one thing we all have in common and that is the SINGLE SOCKS experience -- as in "Where the hell is my other sock?"

Let the theories begin!

Simply submit your favorite theories here and, who knows, you might end up the GRAND PRIZE WINNER: An Idea Champions Silver Innovation Kit (retails for $199) + five of my unmatched socks (which some sock conspiracists tell me are likely to match yours.) Sock it to me!


Posted by Mitch Ditkoff at July 2, 2009 06:58 PM


I am making a break for it on the rinse cycle are you with me? OK see you around.

Posted by: Chris [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 2, 2009 09:45 PM

Hey wait up I am not done drying

Posted by: Chris [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 2, 2009 09:46 PM

Are you there?

Posted by: Chris [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 2, 2009 09:47 PM

I had no idea where my other socks were until I saw the picture posted on your site. That is my sock on your foot. There is obviously some worm hole in the Universe that takes individual socks from my sock drawer and sucks them up into your sock drawer.
Go figure!

Posted by: Dan Munter [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 2, 2009 09:50 PM

Well, this is not original but I sure thought it was a good theory when I heard about it. This comes from a Smithsonian's Magazine (think it was a reader):

The missing half of a pair of socks when not found in the dryer--ends up as one of the extra hangers hanging in your closet.

That theory takes care of two problems in a row.

Posted by: Lynn Kindler [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 3, 2009 08:37 PM

Listen Mitch, there's an entire section of the akashic records' library devoted to this subject. Pulling an entry out at random, I find that the socks are stolen by the same miniature kleptomaniacs who steal pens. While no one has seen them, the author of this particular theory believes they are foot-shaped creatures who are of course ambidextrous. Clearly they are also writers, jealous of the success of their earthly rivals, who are able to get their books published (sometimes). I'm getting a bit bored of this theory so will look up some others for you tomorrow or sometime next year.......

Posted by: pcatpurrs [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 4, 2009 06:02 PM

Oh, forgot. They live in a very cold place. hence the need for all those socks

Posted by: pcatpurrs [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 4, 2009 06:05 PM

Okay. This is spiritual. The sock gets separated from its mate and is confused in the wash. Their little individual bodies wind up inside a sweater no one ever wears again, or inside a pillow case we only use when Aunt Gertie comes and even then, no one notices a small thin sock inside it. On and on it goes. Experiencing this loss, each sock may choose to leave its body and let its spirit loose, in hopes of finding its sole mate once again.. Little does it know, the sole mate was left behind in a wad in the back, bottom drawer, sometimes with a tight rubber band strangling the whole bunch of lonely socks.- or worse, made into dust mops or cute little puppets. Someone tries to throw away the wad of lonely socks and someone more frugal simply pulls them out of the trash, with a cheerful, "Honey, maybe if we do ALL our laundry, we will find some of these mates!" At long last, after both spirits leave their little thin, fuzzy bodies to find each other, the two sole mates merge together once again into the universe.

Disclaimer: This in no way implies belief in the reincarnation of sock life.

Posted by: bunny [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 5, 2009 11:47 PM

You are right, I am also a member of this not too select club, but a long long time ago, when I lost my sock, I decided never to lose one again.

What I did then, I took all my socks and stiched a label that read "sweater" in each of them and I never lost a sock again.

It is true! it is true! No sock ever disappeared again. Try it and you will see...

Posted by: Alain L [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 7, 2009 11:22 PM

Under the intense heat and pressure generated in the washing machine and dryer, modern "yarn theory" (an expanded version of string theory) postulates that the missing sock ends up in a parallel universe, but remains inextricably entangled with its former mate like 2 photons in a quantum physics experiment. Through what Einstein referred to as "spooky action at a distance" each time the stock remaining in this universe is rolled up, or turned inside out, the same thing happens to the other sock in the parallel universe, leading to much speculation and consternation by anyone observing the phenomenon.

Posted by: Tom Bowden [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 13, 2009 05:56 PM

I suggest that you also help solve a very profound question, which can be connected to the loss of socks in many different and unnamable ways. This very Freudian question is analoguous to living your life near the security of a structure, a wall for example, or just diving into the unknown, far away from structures; it touches the the metaphysical question of what we do with our lives, how we live our lives etc. Hundreds, if not thousands, of websites vehemently debate this issue that is the cause of the breakup of many fragile unions, a simple example of which being the blog:

Posted by: Alain L [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 15, 2009 01:41 AM

It's not a missing sock- rather, as the heat and tumbling action of the dryer commence, this stimulates the sock mating ritual and consequent birthing of one new baby sock that is identical to the parent socks. Therefore all of those "extra" socks are really sock children.

Posted by: Embyr42 [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 31, 2009 10:07 AM

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